Hello again, friends. It seems that I’ve been somewhat MIA the last month.
Apologies if you’ve missed me although I suspect it’s much more likely that no-one even noticed my absence. I went on holiday by mistake took an unplanned break from social media.

It’s been a busy month but an odd month too. I mentioned in a previous post that I found myself being challenged throughout the week I spent in Latvia. That challenge, or at least a part of it continued after I came home. In general I’m ok and I don’t want this entry to turn into some melodramatic self-pity party either perhaps the best thing I can say is I’ve just been battling the ‘I am nots’. It’s that little voice inside my head. It starts with over-thinking, over-analyzing, and ends with me feeling useless.

The preface to The Restaurant at the End of the Universe states:
'There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another theory which states that this has already happened.'
(Adams 1980: 3)
I feel a little bit like that describes my life situation. Fear of the ordeals playing themselves out in head-land is a hindrance, but the paralysis induced by the sheer weight of accumulated hypothetical propositions is quite possibly a worse one. How do you trust what you are going after will be something in the end that you really want? How do you know it’s the right dream?
This is my dreamspace, a creative space but it’s hard to dream big when your heart feels small and sore. It’s no excuse to stop trying though.

As I’m writing this, I’m second guessing whether I should post it. Worried about what people will think. Is this too much like a diary entry? The more time I spend in head-land, the less time I feel like I should spend in head-land. This is a lesson I seem to keep needing to learn over and over and over like a monkey with a miniature cymbal (to steal a phrase from Hot Chip)

On a brighter note my impromptu hiatus served as a nice little vacation. Like a social-networking rehab of sorts. It’s amazing how freeing it can be to let yourself off the hook …even when it’s your own projects.
Seriously though I just want to apologise for sucking so badly recently reader; I have neglected every form of social media from e-mail to blogger and...well, and everything in between (although, to be fair, I'm pretty unrepentant in my neglect of Facebook), and I'm very sorry for not really paying attention to you (yes, you reader) and for not having noticed the important/interesting (or, indeed, frivolous/banal) things that you've all been doing/experiencing.